Its ok to not yet be ok (Are you still on struggle street?)
We are now almost at the 3 month mark of your journey of independence post breakup however you may still be struggling and that is ok! It is completely normal to still be on struggle street and I don’t want you to compare your healing process with anyone else or put a time constraint on yourself.
When a breakup occurs it is essentially like a loved one dying, it is traumatic and with this comes a grieving process, you once had your human and now your special human is no longer yours.
We can often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be ok and move on quickly and if we don’t we beat ourselves up and our inner mean girl chatter becomes unbearably loud. We also feel like we should get back out there as soon as we can and move on and can often force ourselves to start seeing other people again or start dating before it feels right. In regards to dating and getting back out there you need to take your time and do what feels right for you, if the thought of getting back out there excites you then fuck yes sis get out there and go on those dates and ride that dick! However if anxiety raises its ugly head the moment you think of sitting across a table looking at a stranger trying to piece together small talk then you need to listen to your intuition and take that extra time to heal and stay away from dates and riding dick.
The comparison game is often played post breakup with our ex, so for example your ex may have moved on already or may appear to be fine and “living their best life” (had to use quote un quote because this saying is complete bullshit) however what you see is only surface. You don’t see that they are trying to heal their pain by blanketing it with someone else, you don’t see the tears behind the smile or the fact that they are lying awake at night replaying all of the happy memories or wondering where things went wrong. Do not compare your day 80 to someone else’s day 80 as again everyone’s healing process is different and you truly don’t know what is happening under the surface.
Always check in with yourself and your intuition and take this process as slow as you need, follow the steps each week and I promise you that you will get through it and come out on the other side stronger and happier then you have ever been before.
Until next time my love!
In Love & Light