Breakup Blog – Week 5

Resources you could be entitled to

Hey beauty queen!

Now that we have your finances in check and opened up a few options in the way of making some residual income each month I would love to walk you a through other doors; so hold my hand and come with me and let’s take a peep through these doors.

When I went through my own separation I did it tough for many months and I didn’t reach out for help therefore I internalised all of my emotions and fears and it wasn’t until I was in a very dark headspace that I decided to get guidance from a psychologist.

I cannot recommend seeking out a psychologist to talk things through as what you are experiencing is a trauma to your emotions and depending on the severity of the trauma you can indeed go into a really dark place and it is hard to pull yourself out of that alone.

Some tips for seeking out a psychologist:

-Ask your doctor first for a referral to a psychologist as you may be eligible to see a psychologist for free for 10-12 sessions

-Don’t be afraid to ask the psychologist what area of psychology they specialise in and what experience they have. For me I always ensure they are older & have experience dealing with childhood trauma and abuse

-Don’t feel you have to stay with the one psychologist if you are not happy with them. For me personally I had a not so great experience many years ago with a psychologist where I didn’t gel with them and they were very patronising to my life events therefore I wrote off psychologists for many years not understanding that choosing a psychologist is like choosing a new hairdresser. If you’re not happy with the hairdresser you go to or she specialises in blonde hair however your hair is brown therefore it is completely normal to find a new hairdresser and this rule applies with psychologists.

The next resource you may be eligible for is assistance from the government. Girl I know that you probably read that sentence and instantly thought of a stereotypical group however when you are newly single especially with a little mouth to feed or many little mouths to feed sometimes you need all of the help you can get, so it is really important to speak up and ask. If you are a single mum you will be able to tap into additional payments from the government such as Parenting Payment, Family Tax A & B, Rent Assist & a pension to name a few. I recommend doing an online eligibility search through your local Human Resources site depending on your country to see what can help lighten the load.

Mamasita another resource for you to look into is Child Support. Regardless of your position or whether you have a private child support agreement with your ex for your little one it is really important to seek advice from child support to ensure payments are being made from your ex and the payments are sufficient as raising a child or multiple children is no easy financial feat.

The last resource but by far not the least and I have mentioned this one before, is speaking to a lawyer; are you still breathing because you are going a little pale on me. In all seriousness seeking out a lawyer to help me with my separation has saved me thousands and thousands of dollars long term. My lawyer was incredible in providing me with an array of resources to assist me from moving expenses, bank accounts, parental agreements, divorce documentation and knowing all options so I didn’t feel backed into a corner.
Some tips to consider when choosing a lawyer:

-Ask the lawyer if they do an initial hour consultation free (most lawyers do)

-Do some background research on your lawyer to ensure they are a professional in the specialised field of law you are going to be needing

-Don’t be afraid to ask how they charge and if there is a payment plan option

-If you are not happy with the initial consult keep looking for another lawyer, don’t settle

I am going to include my personal lawyers email here for you as she specialises in family law and divorce cases. She does do free initial consults therefore feel free to send her an email to see if she can assist you further and make sure you let her know that you found her on my blog so she knows you are a friend of mine 🙂

I would love to hear from you to see how you are tracking as we are almost half way through our 12 week step by step series of gaining your independence back therefore please gf send me a message or shoot me an email.

Until next week my love,
In Gratitude & Light

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