“You just stay here whilst I go and get a coffee” was what I thought of saying to my 4 week old baby as she laid in her bassinet screaming her lungs out for no reason at all. Well there was a reason but it was unbeknown to me, we were going through our first leap (aka growth spurt) and I say we as Aiden and I were along for a very emotional dramatic ride with her.
I thought I had this mothering thing down pat, I learned her cries, I learned when to feed her, how to feed her, I even had a daily routine down pat and a good sleep system going. Until one morning little Zephaniah wouldn’t stop crying, I went through my mental checklist;
- Fed – CHECK
- Slept – CHECK
- Clean Nappy – CHECK
- No Wind -CHECK
“What is wrong with her” I thought, I honestly had know idea what to do. I picked her up and I cuddled her and she stopped crying but the moment I put her down the water works would begin. I was restricted with anything that I did, I was busting to pee and so hungry as I didn’t eat that day or pee.
We went for our usual morning walk and she whinged the whole way which was so unusual for her as she is normally passed out within the first 10 mins. We drove in the car and she slept for the first 5 mins then she started screaming, tears and all and again she normally sleeps during any car ride. She abandoned any nap time that was once set in place and decided to nap no more then 15 mins at a time before waking up screaming.
After the second day of a whingey clip on koala that abandoned any routine we had built together I was mentally done, I was ready to tap out.
“I really don’t know how much more I can take of this” I txtd to Aiden after the second miserable day with Zephaniah.
After feeling at a loss I reached out to my fellow mummy followers and asked why my beautiful angel baby had now turned into a devil child and the response was simple “Get the wonder weeks app, she is going through her first leap”.
After downloading the app and typing in my baby’s due date I found that she was infact going through her first leap and her world is literally turning upside down and she is seeing this from a different perspective which can be scary for her as its a whole new world.
After learning this I felt awful, I felt like I was the worst mum as I literally got so annoyed with my little one, I was getting angry with her but it wasn’t her fault and what she was going through was a huge development in her world so I had to suck it up and be there for my baby and if that meant not eating for a day then that was what was needed of me.
Once I understood what Zephaniah was going through and her new perspective on life I could help her and nurture her when she needed it and be extra cuddly for her and hold her whilst she slept.
Out of all of the negatives of the first leap there were positives which where; Zephaniah could now smile socially and not just when she was going to fart, she stayed awake more during the day, she could enjoy playtime and interact with her toys more and she would understand her surroundings and the atmosphere around her.
During these times being a mum can be really tough, it had me questioning whether I was cut out for being a mum but once I reached out and received some help it made the issues at hand so much easier to deal with and understand, and I haven’t questioned my abilities since.
Mamas don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.